Lost Love
by x.imagine.x
Summary: Sirius reflects on the love of his life. Sirius/OC oneshot


**A/N: OK, so I just randomly decided to write a little one-shot about what would happen if Sirius had a love.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Arietta!**

* * *

**Lost Love**

Everyone always thinks that I didn't have a true love. Everybody says that Sirius Black didn't care enough to love anybody other than himself. I'll admit, I was a player… But I'm reformed, I swear. She changed me. She showed me what it was to be in love.

Alright, now you're probably massively confused, and have a million questions. Don't worry, I'll answer them in good time.

Let me start off simple: her name. Arietta Bolin. The most beautiful name I have ever heard. I used to call her Ari for short. I loved her name. It just rolled off my tongue. It was so magical, so musical. As soon as you heard her name, you knew that she was someone special. And she was.

She had the silkiest brown hair and the most gorgeous, captivating deep brown eyes. Her hair was straight at the top, gradually forming into soft curls. I loved her hair. It was beautiful and luscious. I loved running my fingers through it. Almost as much as I loved looking into her eyes. She had the most amazing eyes. I could stare into them for hours. They always looked different, even though nobody noticed any changes. I asked James once about it, and he just gave me a funny look.

Oh, and don't get me started on her smile. It lit up any room. She always seemed to be smiling, showing her perfectly white teeth. Her smile just added to her natural beauty. She wore little to no make-up, maybe just a bit of eyeliner.

Her skin was naturally smooth after she went through the whole acne phase. She seemed to be perfectly tanned.

She could walk into a room, and it would instantly brighten. I know, cheesy, but it was true. Everyone was always more cheerful when Ari was around. She loved life, and everyone knew it. They couldn't help but love it too when she was around.

I know what you're thinking now, she's perfect. Nobody can be perfect. Well, she's probably not, I just think she is. To me, she's the most perfect person in the world. Others had no trouble finding faults in her. She was constantly finding them. She was way too self-conscious. It was an odd contrast to the confidence she exuded.

I remember the last time I saw her. She was wearing a red, off-the-shoulder, polyester sweater and simple, low-rise blue jeans. The sweater was just short enough to expose a small portion of her stomach. Her hair was free around her shoulders, and she was wearing her favourite, worn, old converse. In simpler words: She was perfection…

"_Hey!" She smiled brightly, plopping down on the couch next to me. I ran my eyes over her body quickly, subtly, but she still caught it, "See something you like?" She raised an eyebrow at me._

_I smirked, leaning in to whisper in her ear, "I just might." My smirk broadened as I achieved the desired result: goose-bumps rose on her perfect skin. She covered it quickly, turning to face me._

"_Really? And what would that be?"_

"_You."_

_She blushed. I loved that about her. She was one of the most confident people I knew, but yet I could still make her blush. _

_I leaned towards her, capturing her lips in a sweet, soft kiss. She quickly reciprocated, and the kiss escalated._

"_Ew! Guys, get a room!" James's voice interrupted us._

_I pulled away, glaring at him. She made a face. Even when she made a face she was still beautiful._

"_You should talk James. Who was making out in a chair last night?" Ari asked, eyebrow raised. _

_James flushed, Ari smiled, and I laughed. However, James was stopped from making a retort by Lily entering the common room. Ari, Lily, James and I spent the day together in Hogsmede. It was the perfect day. _

_It was December, and a fresh blanket of snow covered the ground. As we walked into Hogsmede, I grabbed Ari's gloved hand in my own, smiling sideways at her. I really didn't deserve someone as amazing as she was…_

And then the next week it was all over. We'd gone our separate ways for Christmas break. We were supposed to see each other at the platform the day we returned… But she didn't come. I had known she wouldn't come, but I waited, just in case. Maybe she would show up…But I knew that she wasn't going to. James pulled me onto the train and that was the first time I think I actually lost it. The first time I'd admitted that I wouldn't see her again. The first time I let myself cry. In the train compartment of course.

James stood awkwardly and Lily tried to comfort me but it was still awkward. Remus and Peter even tried, but it was just an awkward time period in itself. I was glad when I stopped. It wasn't healthy for me to cry. It wasn't right. Sirius Black didn't cry.

When we sat at our spots at the Gryffindor table for the welcome back speech, it seemed everyone was staring at me as Dumbledore acknowledged her absence. Girls came up to me after, mostly sluts, telling me I had a shoulder to cry on if I wanted it. I mostly just walked past them. Except for one that I couldn't ignore…

"_Hey Sirius," her sultry tone made me gulp. I knew that Erin Pasley was up to no good as she circled to face me, her hand running along my shoulder. She looked like Ari. A lot like Ari. Her eyes were too made-up and her skin was too pale, but there was a faint resemblance. She pressed closer to me, batting her eyelashes. It wasn't any secret that she was obsessed with me. Everyone knew it, even though she denied it. "I heard what happened. If you want, I can help you get over her. I have very… unique therapeutic talents."_

_I was about to respond, when James grabbed my arm roughly._

"_You know what _Erin_? Sirius doesn't need your help. What he needs, is for girls like you to stay far far away!" He snarled, before pulling me along to the Common Room. _

Of course, after my initial depression, I tried to forget about her. Not as easily done as I thought. I tried various types of therapy: Red, black, and blonde. No brunettes though. No brunettes for a very long time. My friends began to worry. I wasn't myself. Actually I was my old self, but I wasn't the Sirius they'd known over the last few months. The effect a person can have…

_It didn't take long for James to confront me. He cornered me outside the common room, pulling me into a deserted classroom. Pushing me against a wall, he glared deeply at me._

"_What the hell is going on here? What happened to you?!" He snapped angrily._

_I shrugged coolly, "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Yes, you do. You aren't the same."_

"_No, I don't. I'm exactly the same as I was."_

"_Yeah, as you were before Ari…"_

"_Yeah, well, they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else right?" I challenged._

_That blew it. He actually punched me. Hard! He cut my jaw up, and I could tell a bruise was forming. _

"_When my friend decides to come back, come find me."_

_And he walked away._

James had given me the final wake-up call. I stopped seeing the girls. I started trying to pull up my nearly hopeless grades. My grace period was over. McGonagall's sympathetic looks had turned into ones of disapproval. I needed to stop this.

But I couldn't let her go. I thought I saw her everywhere I turned. I could swear I heard her laugh every time somebody cracked a joke. One time I swore she was sitting next to me. But she never was.

James, Lily, Remus, and Peter dragged me to the funeral. I hadn't wanted to go. It would be too final. It would be too much of a goodbye. As I stared at the closed casket, it finally registered that my first and only love was gone, and she wasn't coming back.

The following year, we joined the Order of the Phoenix, intent on killing the monster who had taken Arietta from us.

* * *

**And... Fin!**

**A/N: So… good, bad? Let me know what you think!**


End file.
